Learning Lifes Lessons
It's nearly 11pm and here is what Marin is up to tonight. Her Dad is desperately trying to get her to sleep to no avail...it's my turn to step in!
Calli was under the weather this morning, so I was hoping for a low-key day. By lunch time when I was ready to get out of the house and go and do something productive, Calli told me she was tired and wanted to go to bed. So I wiped her runny nose for the 1 millionth time (I should really buy shares in Kleenex...) and got her all tucked in. Little did I know that the angel I put to bed would wake up on the dark side!!
Marin and I woke her up late in the afternoon after a 2.5 hour snooze. She was great when she woke up and carried on full speed ahead. I started cooking supper and she was in the kitchen beside me playing Barbies, when I heard her say "I'm going to kill you!" I said "What did you just say?" "Nothing. The Barbies were just talking to each other." "What did they just say to each other?" She "didn't want to tell" me. I tried every trick in the book to get it out of her. She KNEW very well that what she'd said was not something she was allowed to say, but also knew that she shouldn't repeat it. She kept insisting she hadn't said anything, so I sent her to the stairs for a time out because she was lying to me and wasn't telling me the truth about what had been said between the Barbies.
When Adam arrived home, she really didn't want me telling him the whole sordid tale! She nearly begged me not to let him know what she had said. We tried the If You Tell Us We Won't Be Mad tactic, but it wasn't sinking in. I had already taken away all of her Barbies after I over-heard their horrible conversation, but she wasn't giving in whatsoever.
Finally when we were tucking her in for bed tonight, I said the magic words apparently... "Just tell us what you said...we won't be mad.....IT'S OK to say it this time." She said "Ok," and then told us..."I said kill." We asked her if she knew what it meant (she didn't) and we explained to her that it was a terrible thing to say or do. We explained a few situations where she might have heard it said and that she should never say that when she was playing, especially if she doesn't even know what it means. She apologized and that was that.
I know she is only 3 and it's a big thing to take in. It's not SO much the whole killing part of the lesson, as it is the lying or being afraid of telling us what she said or did. I want her to know that she should always be able to tell us anything, because I believe that was one of THE most important lessons I was ever taught growing up. I know that my parents weren't thrilled to hear some of the honest things I had to say, but I felt fine knowing that I could come to them and tell them anything at any time. Calli is young for this lesson, but starting young is the key, right?
Calli was under the weather this morning, so I was hoping for a low-key day. By lunch time when I was ready to get out of the house and go and do something productive, Calli told me she was tired and wanted to go to bed. So I wiped her runny nose for the 1 millionth time (I should really buy shares in Kleenex...) and got her all tucked in. Little did I know that the angel I put to bed would wake up on the dark side!!
Marin and I woke her up late in the afternoon after a 2.5 hour snooze. She was great when she woke up and carried on full speed ahead. I started cooking supper and she was in the kitchen beside me playing Barbies, when I heard her say "I'm going to kill you!" I said "What did you just say?" "Nothing. The Barbies were just talking to each other." "What did they just say to each other?" She "didn't want to tell" me. I tried every trick in the book to get it out of her. She KNEW very well that what she'd said was not something she was allowed to say, but also knew that she shouldn't repeat it. She kept insisting she hadn't said anything, so I sent her to the stairs for a time out because she was lying to me and wasn't telling me the truth about what had been said between the Barbies.
When Adam arrived home, she really didn't want me telling him the whole sordid tale! She nearly begged me not to let him know what she had said. We tried the If You Tell Us We Won't Be Mad tactic, but it wasn't sinking in. I had already taken away all of her Barbies after I over-heard their horrible conversation, but she wasn't giving in whatsoever.
Finally when we were tucking her in for bed tonight, I said the magic words apparently... "Just tell us what you said...we won't be mad.....IT'S OK to say it this time." She said "Ok," and then told us..."I said kill." We asked her if she knew what it meant (she didn't) and we explained to her that it was a terrible thing to say or do. We explained a few situations where she might have heard it said and that she should never say that when she was playing, especially if she doesn't even know what it means. She apologized and that was that.
I know she is only 3 and it's a big thing to take in. It's not SO much the whole killing part of the lesson, as it is the lying or being afraid of telling us what she said or did. I want her to know that she should always be able to tell us anything, because I believe that was one of THE most important lessons I was ever taught growing up. I know that my parents weren't thrilled to hear some of the honest things I had to say, but I felt fine knowing that I could come to them and tell them anything at any time. Calli is young for this lesson, but starting young is the key, right?
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jmac