Lifes Little Lessons

Marin's future is so bright...just kidding...Calli put the glasses on her while we were playing hairdresser today. Marin is a great assistant, but she hates to hand things over once you've already given them to her. Little battles tend to ensue.

Do you ever just get so wrapped up in something that you find it hard to quit doing it in order to do something else you REALLY need to get done? Well Calli experienced this today. She was so wrapped up in playing and dancing, humming, talking, running, chatting with her sister, making silly noises with her sister and just being 3 in general that she forgot what she REALLY needed to be doing at that time. I caught her with her legs crossed and asked what was going on??? She replied in a timid little voice "I peed." Off to the bathroom we went.
We had a small chat - mostly because it's hard to talk to a 3 year old who is screaming at the top of her lungs in protest at what I've just explained to her - and I proceeded to place a Size 4 diaper on her. I make it sound much easier than it was. I didn't exactly "place" the diaper on her. I had to wrestle a bit...it was nothing in comparison to the wrestling I do with my 7 month old, mind you!!


Calli was crying and screaming so loud, I'm surprised all the dogs in the neighbourhood weren't barking and the neighbours didn't come over!! I calmed her down enough to explain to her that this was to "remind" her what it feels like to wear a diaper. That big girls should know to stop everything and run to the toilet when it's time to go. That it's ok to drop everything and stop playing for a minute to go to the toilet. She asked me 100 times I'm sure, to take off the diaper...but I made her keep it on for 15 minutes. She wouldn't move from the spot she was in. She only got up to throw her tissue in the garbage.
I felt like the WORST mother in the land. Her facial expressions and her screaming and complete shame and embarrassment were pulling at my heart, but I knew I had to be persistent. It is the only way she will understand that she's beyond wearing diapers....WAY beyond. If I had been able to leave and have a break, I would have cried for her.
I STILL remember a time when I was little and I must have had an "accident" at one point, because I remember wearing a diaper when I was already potty trained. I remember being most embarrassed when my Dad came home from work and my Mum made me show him that I was wearing a diaper. I remember to this day, trying to walk quietly without having the diaper make any noise, so my Dad wouldn't know. I still remember the embarrassment.
Poor Calli. But during supper she suddenly put down her fork, said "I drop everything....and I run to the potty," and she took off. I KNOW she knows how to go to the toilet and I know the diaper was extreme, but maybe a little reminder isn't such a bad thing?

I started wondering why this episode would happen. Is it jealousy? Is it that she was so wrapped up in playing etc that she forgot what she was doing? Did she need some attention from me? Is there something wrong? (It is the first time it's happened in the middle of the day, so I ruled out that something is wrong.) During lunch Calli said to me "I wish I didn't have a baby sister." I thought about my answer before blurting out what I wanted to say to her. I couldn't tell her she was rude, because obviously something was genuinely bothering her. I couldn't freak out. I couldn't laugh it off. I had to talk to her about it as it was a logical concern/problem for her. She didn't really end up having a reason for her comment....I asked her all sorts of questions to figure out the root of the problem. I ended up just pointing out all the fun it's going to be once Marin plays more with her and once she starts talking and all the great times they'll share over their lifetimes together. I had to make her see that having a sibling is amazing and that they'll (hopefully) be great friends for the rest of their lives. I had to make her understand how sad Adam and I would be without Marin and how sad Marin would be without Calli to show her the ropes!
It must be so hard being the only child for 2 1/2 years and then suddenly having to be pushed aside all the time in order for the parents to tend to the baby. I try so hard, as does Adam, to make sure that things are equal between them. If we comment on how cute Marin is, we comment on how cute Calli is...if Adam tickles Marin, he'll tickle Calli twice as long afterwards etc etc.
I just get so sad because I don't have the time to devote to Calli like I used to. Now that Marin is finally napping in the afternoons, I try to use the time to play with Calli, but I end up catching up on all the things I need to get done in the day. It's SO hard to find the balance. I know I'll get it eventually, but it seems like such a long road ahead right now. It makes me appreciative of my Mum and Dad even more, knowing they both worked full-time, yet still managed to raise 2 children. It's quite a learning process. Seems both Calli and I learned something today!

Marin was nice and bundled up after her bath tonight... She was totally ready for bed by this point. I'm ready too...off I go!