I have issues with Control

Yesterday was one of the MOST trying days I've ever had with Calli. She began the day by coming up to snuggle with me in my bed, which was lovely, as usual. She finally decided it was time to head down and watch cartoons after a quick potty break. I heard her go down and walk towards the bathroom, then heard Marin's door open (on the monitor) and Calli say "Good Morning, Marin!!" Needless to say, Marin was still asleep and reacted by crying... So apparently it was time for me to get up!
The rest of the day didn't improve much. Calli tested and tested me and I tried everything from ignoring her, to giving her time-outs, to yelling at her, to speaking quietly to her during her fits. Finally, I found the last straw when I walked into her room and saw that she had decorated her bedroom carpet with crayon designs. I quietly freaked out, then asked to see her hand. I took the culprit crayon out of her hand (she had used multiple colours) and slapped the back of it, then sent her to the stairs for a time out. She SCREAMED!! I went and told her why she was there and explained how long she would be sitting there. So, to test me further, she screamed and screamed and then once she was done, she said "I want you to come and talk to me right now." Hmmm, I do believe it is my job to decide when to come and talk to you and explain your wrongdoings and ask for an apology. But she tries to take control ALL the time. It's very difficult. Then about 15 minutes later, she decided to draw on her chalk board and as I was watching her, she bent down and drew a quick chalk line on the toy room carpet!!! I sent her back to the stairs after asking her why she did it..." I don't know," then took the chalk and the easel and put them away for the movers.

She needs so much attention right now and yesterday was full on proof of that. She was ready to go to bed by 6 pm!!! I didn't argue with her. I dragged it out until 7pm, and she fell asleep within 3 minutes. She suddenly got really sad before bed and looked at me with her beautiful blue eyes and said "I'm really sad Mommy." I asked what the problem was and she said "I really miss my Dad. I wish he was here." I nearly burst into tears myself. I got the phone and called Adam and let her talk to him for a while, but she nearly put him into tears as well. "Hi Dad. I'm really sad." "Why?" "I miss you," and she burst back into tears. Poor little pumpkin. There is just so much going on and so much to deal with right now. She's so confused and lonely and lacking the attention she is used to getting. It's a struggle for all of us. In the end she promised Adam that she would be a good girl today, and lucky for me, she kept her promise.



She came and snuggled with me after she woke up and we got Marin out of bed together once she had woken up. We watched cartoons for a bit, ate breakfast with C3PO guarding the raisin bran. She played very well while I did some phoning and emailing, ate all of her lunch and was well behaved when Robyn came over to babysit while I took the cats to the vet for their checkups.



Calli loves to pick out her outfits for the day. Of course, the main attraction is anything pink. We discovered that her hair can make it into 2 little piggie tails, so that's been the hairstyle for the last 2 days. It might end up being the style for a while. She loves seeing the "piggies" and wearing 2 barrettes as well. I was staring at her all day today. She just looked SO cute.


Marin has been quite busy pulling up on every piece of furniture in sight. She has figured out how to get down without crashing too badly! But sometimes she doesn't land very well and bumps her head on the floor. Luckily she is extremely resilient.

So tomorrow another day begins and I can only hope it'll be a good one. My list is getting smaller and things are getting done, but it still seems quite daunting. I feel like I can only accomplish so much in one day. There are little road-blocks in the way of nearly everything I try and do, but I can't imagine life without a phone and a computer for email. Imagine having to rely on photocopying and faxing and messages?? Yikes. Technology is certainly a blessing in disguise.