Sweet Horsie

I still can't believe she is gone.  I find myself seeing her in the house all the time.  Walking by the kitchen on her way upstairs to snuggle up with Calli in her bed.  Lurking under the kitchen table before jumping up on Marin's chair to be her "dinner buddy," hoping for scraps of stray chicken that might make their way towards her.  I can hear her coming down the hall to my room in the morning so we can have some extra cuddles before getting up for the day.  She is always here.  

Sixteen and a half years with her and it's no wonder I still feel her with me.  I bought her in Williams Lake in 1996 from Cariboo Feeds.  A few weeks later I decided she needed a friend and I went and found Wickett.  My two little babies before I had my human babies.   

When I first brought them home they lived with me in an over-the-garage apartment on South Lakeside.  From there, we moved many times together:

- to Todd's apartment in town
- to a house on Esler
- to a house with 5 other cats at Commodore Crescent
- to Abbotsford in the dingy basement suite
- to Gillian's apartment in Vancouver
- to my apartment in Vancouver
- to a logging camp near Grande Prairie
- to Chilliwack (after one of them peed on my room-mates bed at the camp)
- to Westridge Dr when I moved back to WL
- to Powell River (I think Horsie escaped in Cache Creek when we stopped for gas)
- to the other house in Powell River
- to Montreal (only Horsie - as Wickett had already gone up to the stars)
- to Merritt for a bit until we settled into our house in Alberta
- here

It's amazing to think of all the places we've gone together and all the adapting that my little kitties did over the years.  Each time we brought them to a new place, Wickett would hide and Horsie would wander around and check things out and ok everything.  She always settled quickly, even until her very last day with us.  

When we brought her to the vet on the last day, she was quite reluctant to come out of her travelling kennel.  The girls had placed their favourite blanket in the kennel for her and the vet had placed a lovely soft faux fur blanket on the exam table to make her comfortable.  She stayed in the kennel for the first 5 minutes before getting out and off the table to explore the small room.  It wasn't long before she was walking around, purring and meowing and telling us she was happy!  

I love how embarrassed Nellie is with the hat on..ashamed that the cat has seen her like this.

We made the tough decision together as a family, to all be with Horsie when she passed away.  We knew it was probably coming as she hadn't eaten in 4 days and when we pet her, we could feel every bone of her skeleton.  On the last day she seemed to be having a hard time breathing as well as well as not really being able to go to the bathroom.

Horsie checking out the kitty litter cake at Halloween.

We called the Vet and spoke with him about her symptoms and options and in the end decided we would bring her in...

Mmmm....the sun in her little box.  Marin decorated it all up for her many, many times and even wrote Horsies bedroom on it.

He was very good with us and with her and he checked her intestines to see if she might have a blockage, but said it was quite empty in there.  He figured her laboured breathing was probably due to congestive heart failure.

She sure loved to lay on us.

We were able to stay with her while he calmed her down with a shot of morphine, to make things easier and less stressful for the final needle.  We pet her and cried and the girls put their blanket over her as she lay on the table slowing down.  She seemed thirsty, so Adam put some water on his hand and gently coaxed her to lick it.

When the vet came in again after 15 minutes, Calli and Adam left the room, as we'd previously discussed and Marin and I stayed with her until her very last breath, holding each other and each with a hand on Horsie.  We were so sad, but also so relieved that she wasn't suffering anymore.  We always wanted to take care of her but not let our own selfish feelings get in the way.  She lived a long, full life with SO much love.  The vet told us afterwards that he hated to say it, but we did the right thing in bringing her in, that she was having a hard time.

We were able to sit with her long after she was gone and cry and tell stories and pet her as much as we liked.  Adam commented that she was the softest she had ever been.  

Sitting on the patio table outside.  She loved the warmth and loved being brushed up here.

We stayed with her for ages...and finally made the decision to leave.  It was the hardest thing we've ever had to do, walking away from her on that table.

We talked and talked about her and about her passing and made sure the girls were completely ok with what they'd seen and that we were all at peace with it.

I love this photo of Adam, Nellie and Horsie on a mattress in the living room after Adam hurt his back at work.

Calli had a tough time because it was the day after her birthday and it was the worst day of her life and she couldn't believe it after having had such a wonderful day the day before.

We went for a lovely late afternoon walk together with Nellie and just enjoyed the peace and quiet.

It was definitely hard to come home and not have her there at the top of the stairs, waiting for us, or curled up on the floor in the sunlight, or snuggled on top of a heat register getting toasty warm.

We still find we are closing the outside doors quickly, so she doesn't run out and "escape!"

On the "cat walk."

I waited 3 weeks before I was able to remove her food bowl and water dish and wash them out.  I waited for her every morning to jump onto our bed and meow that it was time to get up and come downstairs to feed her.  

Hee hee!

She was the best cat ever.

Her famous upside down sleeping pose.

And we are lost without her.

Love her little teeth sticking out.  She was deaf for the last several months, so it was easy to photograph her without disturbing her!

Always on top of anyone who was on the couch...

In her box by the fire a few months ago.  She had a hard time staying warm, so welcomed this fire-y warmth.

Love

Conked out on the heat register again.

Her last morning...she looked so so sad, sitting on the register again.

Sweet forever Dreams my little Horsie-pants.

Our last morning snuggle.  Look how tiny and skinny she was...

At the vet office.

Skinny little thing making herself at home in the vet office.

You are forever in our hearts.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The beautiful sunset the day that Horsie died.